this is me

this is me
this is me

Sunday, 31 January 2010

handy mirray

so glad to witness andy murray get the thrashing he deserved, and one that i expected, by the master federa. ever since he slagged off the english, he has attempted to back track, without success. two faced,and will never win a slam. nadal was injured, murray took advantage, feds on his last few slams, but even at his age dispatched of murray with consumate ease. one should never bite the hand that feeds you, the english public will never forgive him


to be honest, i don't even think he is in the top ten full backs in the world. the guy seems to be a bully, if you believe the press reports. woodgate,king,ferdinand could fill his boots. the fact he has dipped his wick, in a team mates candle, just shows his arrogance. he has crossed the line, a point of no return, hopefully

Saturday, 30 January 2010


another chapter of my book is on the way, just a reminder, its not entirely true, i have euphemised in parts

Thursday, 28 January 2010


my daughter Tara, has in the last 30 minutes delivered a beautiful baby girl. in dont half put a smile on your face

Wednesday, 27 January 2010

teen lone ski

Kenneths stag 09 Teen Lone skiing, check this on youtube, i was knackered at the time

football legacy

another club goes into is spiraling out of control, where will it all end? in tears i guess.greedy owners come in and without any feelings for the clubs longevity, look for the quick kill, this is how it seems.

if it was up to me, i would split the clubs into different departments. make the manager responsible for the players, make the director responsible for the merchandising etc. run them as seperate entities.

the manager would have a buget from the gate reciepts, player sales. the director would use TV rights, merchandising to take the brand where ever he chooses. the currant model does not seem to be working, its only a matter of time before one of our long standing teams dissapears forever.greed will take a big club down, it could be yours

Tuesday, 26 January 2010

my book

my book contains another couple of dozen chapters so far,so if you wanna see some more(bucks fizz) let me know. as i said its semi fiction, but most of that chapter really did happen

Monday, 25 January 2010

the book,chapter4

from age 16 to 20, i went boxing. never had any fights but trained and spared. i supporterd my brother mainly. he did have fights, 16 and won 15. i had learnt karate before the boxing. so at the age of 24 when i was asked to work the doors, it seemed i had the right credensials. i found myself settled round the local boozers, i mainly worked with my brother, who had filled out nicely, his gym work had made him huge. we had some scary moments, but usually survived. i went to a former doormans funeral recently, not because he was a mate, but because, i had more than carnal knowledge of his wife, i was glad he was dead. it was known by everyone, except big mark, i had got jiggy with his wife. what they did not know, was i was besotted.

the first time i met mark was in the toilets in tiffs, the pub i was workin. i had follwed him in, i was busting for a pee, it was packed out, he stood down the left waitin, i was on the right, a urinal came empty next to me, so i took it, he was a big cunt, and maybe i shudda waited but i was busting, as the loos emptied, there was just me and him, he pinned me up and threatened toe bite my nose off, i could tell he was mad, i had a sixth sense about these things. i found my self appologising. as we made our way out, i found my younger brother, explained what had happened, he told me we needed to keep out if his way, i let it go.

i found myself working the doors with this bully three months later, it was a mutual dislike(i think, he thought, i knew my place) as is traditional, all the door men meet there bits of stuff after work at the jazz club, the wifes, girlfriends and new to the fold all drank into the early hours. big mark had a problem, 5 pints and he was waisted, for a big lad he could not hold his beer, thats when i started getting close to michelle, they all suspected but no one dare say a word. i was picked up one night by mark to go on a out of town job, 200 yards down the road, he stopped the car got out, walked round to my side, the first words he said were , whilst holding the door for me, get out,oooooops, michelle said you came round to our house yesterday, i was at work..... at this stage i thought i was dead, he knew i'd been bangin her, she was lieing in a pool of blood on the kitchen floor.... she told me you were nasty with her? what?? listen mark, i was only droppin your wages off, no you listen, you ever talk down to my wife again i'll fuckin kill you. wtf?

we arrived at the soul club, out in the sticks, having not said a word to each other, i kinda liked it that way. as soon as i got in, i made an excuse and told mark i had to phone my mum, so off i went to the payphone. i, of course rang michelle, to find out what was going on. she told me one of the nosey neighbors had seen me leave, so she made up some bullshit and that she knew id be ok, glad she had faith.

mark is a stickler for not drinkin on dury, so when to break the ice, i asked if he fancies one. imagine my surprise when he agrees, bare in mind hes driving. he had 3 and then stopped, but not b4 he explained he though michelle was fuckin about, she had gone off sex etc etc etc. why is he telling me. i did of course assure him, no one in their right mine would as much as look at your bird, fuck me mark, when we all go back to the jazz later, your wife will be sat alone, as per, believe me no one dare. lee you're right, maybe i shud lighten up, defo mate defo.

by this time the club was packed, there must have been 300 + it was a bi annual event, but i was wondering why we were there and not some local crew. apparently, they were on strike, they wanted a pay rise and make no mistake they would be paying a visit
it was now 11 bells and the younge bloke who was collecting the entrance money and cloak room cash was tilling up, fuck me mate, bit of a result for you, well not me the club get all the money, how much you made then? around £800. after i left school, i went on to do A' maths but it did not take a mathamatitian to work out this guy had been skimming, mark was stood across the other side of the room, i beckoned him over, how many you count in ? mark had a clicker, 326. come with me, as we got back to the foyer, the guy had packed up and was just on his way out, with the takings. oy whats the rush, come here, what me, come hither with a curly finger. this is my assosiate mark, shake his hand, which they did, now tell mark how much the clubs made tonight. with a quivver in his voice, he maintained £800, i smiled at mark, he smiled back, mark never was the brightest. well ??? take him in the back. mark had that puzzled look on his face,mark, do your thing. at that moment the doors opened, and it was clear the local mafia were paying us a visit, the first thing they said was, are you gonna make us pay? so quick as a flash
i never like to miss an oppertunity, listen guys, we been drafted in, i had no idea it was a pay dispute till we got told tonight.any way, who's head man here,no one stepped forward, but three of them stepped back, i'd found my man. his name was jake, jake, we have just caught this guy skiming, and mark was gonna have a word with him, if you know what i mean, yes sure, mark still had that dumb fuck look on his face? i hushered the guy into a back room, with jake. i took the cash box off the guy, handed it to jake and explained £700 of it was comin our way, he keeps his gob shut, everyones happy. i took £300 and gave jake the rest. we sent the guy on his way. i told jake they could take over from here,as far as results go, we had one.

me and mark headed back to the jazz, mark was more than happy with his cut(£100) the underpayed bouncers were happy, and we were on our way for a well deservered beer. i told mark not to mention this to anyone, i felt i had got him were i wanted, keeping it on a need to know basis
as we walked into the jazz, i made a beline for michelle, i put my arm around her waist and shouted over to mark, can i give your misses one, i mean get her one, the room fell silent, michelle pushed me away, then mark said, dont be such a fridgid bitch, he is bein friendly, he roared, get the beers in. no one knew what had gone on that night, but me and mark, the conversation we had earlier seemed to have alayed his fears, any way a couple more pints he'd be asleep in a corner

my book

would like some input. i have been writing a book, doubt i will ever publish, but would like some opinions. so i'll put a chapter or two on here later. if you like it, i'll put some more on.

its a non fiction, fiction type thing. you will get the gist

Saturday, 23 January 2010


what i mean is, if it was not for awop, i would not have this blog

for anyone who is not a member, or has not heard of it. .... this site came about with the help of.........

give it a look

Friday, 22 January 2010

sex v poker

if i had a pound, for every time i heard someone say, "ITS BETTER THAN SEX".. then i'd proboly have £10.50, but you know what i mean. top sportsmen,heroin addicts,adrenalin junkies you name it. so, when it comes to poker, remember that feeling, you have raised it up, with???? 77, you get three callers, the the flop comes 9 of hearts....7 of clubs.... 6 of hearts...omg happy days, we have pre cum. any hows, you check and get a raise, so you flat, so do the others, the turn comes the mofo case 7 of hearts. you are now in full botox mode,inside, you are grinning from ear2ear,so you chuck a disguised raise in.and to your amazment, they all call. the river,that old man river,brings the card of your dreams the mother fucking 6 of diomands............imediate orgasm and it does not get any better than this.

the board now holds,flushes,straights,full houses,quads, you name it, all you know is, you may need a cigerette, soon after this hand plays out, but it aint over yet, you flat call, and the player to your left goes all in, followed by, the words you wanna here, all in ....multiple orgasm, multiple orgasm, the dealer wipes her knees, shit me. come on big stack,please please....push please, it aint gonna happen?then,those magic words, roll off his lips..... he says it i ???????????? call, what? what? what did he say, i sais i call, omg, i had no idea i had a G spot, who stuck that finger up my ass?

i dunno, is the ultimate acheivement beter than sex?


goldenballs 11/10
the horses mouth,trainer 10/10
the owner 9/10
jockey,handeler 7/10
mate of the trainer 5/10
mate of owner 5/10
guy who knows what he's talking about 3/10
mate down the pub 1/10

in my time, i've had them all, be very the above list, i only take tips from the man. or someone with a proven record. hit and miss, fly by your pennies


seeing the scenes in haiti, can't help but think how lucky we really are. it will be months before they can return to anything like normality, if not years. it also saddens me, that so called super powers are making no more than token jestures. what they could do is mobilise their nations and have the mess cleared up in a week. sat thinking,hmmmm where am i gonna get £100 to play bolton later, and they are thinking, how am i gonna save/feed my baby

Thursday, 21 January 2010

iraq inquiry

the war, i just don't get it. the enquiry is making some leading politisians very uncomfy. they all seem to be choosing their words wisely.
did you agree with regime change?
did they have nuclear capability?
are the iraqy's a threat?
can they deploy in 45 mins?
who made the decision to go to war?

try and get an answer out of these rattlesnakes, and they slither off into the grass.iraq, a country in the middle east, run by a dictator. i would just like to know, what the hell does it have to do with us, what right did we have to tell them how to live their lives. it seems its ok for the usa,russia,uk,france and others to have nuclear wepons,but they refuse to allow any one else to have them. who will they attack next? china? north korea?iran?

retrospective punishments should be dished out, now that it is clear, it was an ulawful war. the uk had no right to invade. sadam hussien was clearly deranged, he surely had mental health problems, but then president bush was round the bend

pure evil

just seen an advert on facebook, £6.99 for high speed broadband,hmmmm. i clicked the link,and just as i susspected,it was a lie. the actulal cost was £18, £11 was for line rental. they make me sick. advertisers have a million ways to get your money out of your account. the two greatest evil's in the world, advertising and religion(i'll do the latter another day)

my daughter came home the other day,excited that she had secured two new dresses, how much i enquired? £68 dad, it was buy 1 get 1 i sat her down for one of my talks.darlin,you have bought two dresses for £68, that means they cost £34 each, no dad, it was buy 1 get 1 free, i said can't you understand, i have told you before, nothing is free in this world. even i am susseptable to their evils, i'm a mars bar man, yet the other day i went to buy a newspaper, and came out with a snickers? why? why? why? tracing my steps back, i noticed a billboard ad 50 yards down the road with a snickers poster across it. i wanted to buy choclate yes, but not a snickers, even though i don't mind snickers.

that is the power of advertising,and the most evil thing they do, is pump subliminal messages into our childrens heads. i was watching childrens tv with my grandaughter, and every 10 minutes, they put a 3 minute comercial on the screen, thats why you see kids screaming the shops down, because they want X,Y or Z, and the parents yield. the kids know they want thia particular cerial,toy or cd, because the advertisers have told them they do, and they will badger their parents until they god damn get it.along with the soap opera's, advertisers control the way we live our lives.

makes me laught, the BBC say they do not advertise, and they are funded by the licience payer, you fucking liars, they are the worst, remember the embassy snooker world champs? or more recently, the masters. the beeb are the lowest of the low, hypocrits of the highest order


was amazed at the amount of people that came up to me at the bolton poker fesival last night, and said they liked the blog. many thanks, and if you like what i'm doing, keep it coming guys and gals

Wednesday, 20 January 2010

sky sports

goergie thompson or milli clode, that is the question. i think goergie is getting past her sell by date, milli has ten years on her.and where totti is involved, youth beats expierience every time

Tuesday, 19 January 2010


i agree, i am supercilious, and enjoy my cynosure nature, i mean no harm, unless provoked. i have my point of view, which i believe to be correct, at all times. i understand that makes people invidious towards me.
i am trustworthy, and honest. i love my grandaughter(s) and playing poker.i did own my own business not to long ago. it turned over 1m. studied A' maths A' english language @ blackburn technical colledge.
i can hold a pool cue, and have competed in the london marathon, plus several half marathons.
football, football, i don't play any more GUTTED.
i have new ventures on the horizon

hero's and zero's

i don't have any hero's, a bit sad really, but that's the way i am. i suppose ayerton senna de silva was the closest thing to a hero, i had great admiration for that man, and grieved at watching his ill timed death.

being a rovers fan, imagine my delight to see the all time leading goal scorer and legend simon garnier, drinking in my local, back in the early eighties, only to discover, the guy was an ass. he pushed people around, and gave it the big i am. the fame had gone to his big fat head. after seeing the way he behaved, i went right off him.

talking of the eighties, i joined a working mans club, the mill hill, this is where i spent my miss spent youth, spanking ass at snooker. i used to play one guy quite regular, his name was Fred. i got on well with Fred, and discovered in conversation, i had been to school with his son and sexy daughter Debbie. on occasion, i would pop in before i went to the rovers, and then back when the game had finished. sometimes we would sit and chat, and football became the topic of many a conversation. one day, without being pressed, he told me he used to play a bit of football, his friend just smiled, and said, Fred was one of the best, and left it at that. i later quizzed his mate, i said, well? who did he play for then? he used to play for the rovers Neil, and he was a good un. i left it at that. i have seen him around, he has a walking stick now, in fact, he's had it for several years. we say hello in passing, and that's that. his second name is Pickering, google him, he was one of the best.

that's the difference, gerner and Pickering, one was a hero, the other a zero. Fred Pickering, i am humbled in your presence, and you are the only hero i have.

i know i have spelt sg's name wrong, i tend to do that to people for whom i have no respect, and i know i have contradicted myself, TSB

red sky at night

the met office are once again doing their gypsy rose lee impressions. its Tuesday, and this morning, they are predicting the weekends weather, they could not say for certain, if day followed night. what a waist of the tax payers money. i say stick with tried and test sure fire ways of predicting the weather. got up this morning, and it looked like rain, its now raining, and that ain't rocket science


wow, decided to try and build a stack, wanted to make some kind of contribution to the bolton fesival(its only round the corner) so got a quick cash (will hill) and decided to do it the hard way. started on $5$10 double your dosh, moved on to sng's, and after 7 hours(and 7 cans of guiness) managed to pump it up, to a respectable £180. by this time the sng's had out lived their usefullness............... cash cash cash, went on a $2$4 10 seater, just about to double up with AKd's, and the mofo hit RR 3q to take the lot.

hope this makes you happy

Monday, 18 January 2010

charity, begins at home

some of the awop guys decided to have a weight loss wager, post Xmas binge fest.initially, i was up for it, and would have won too, not that i need to. i was planning on putting on some heavy clothes for the weigh in, if you know what i mean, and for those who don't, lead weights upon my person, to add several pounds, and a big meal, plus several pints of fluid. i call it an edge, some call it cheating, my competitive nature drives me? i fluctuated between 12,6 and 13,7lb's, so with the added 10-15lb's plus the the added diet in the run up to the final weigh in, lets just say, i could be weight watcher of the year,lol.i decided to give it a miss, because as is the norm, someone mentions charity, here in lies my problem.

there are two types of charitable donations and two types of detonator. the first type of person loves to have the badge, or the tshirt, look at me, look at me, i've given to charity, and they had better bloody well be grateful. you do not here of the other kind. just for the record, i do donate, the armed forces and occasionally, the homeless. all the rest can whistle, unless i'm very drunk, and am being badgered. the point is, i hate being told how i spend my money. this is a subject that will be talked about in more depth in the future.


Can't wait to see tony Blair go in front of the Iraq enquiry. i think the panel will have learnt so much from ally Campbell's dominance in their own back garden, how dare they impugn him,the gravitas eluded him, he had them starstruck, a bit like rabbits caught in the headlights.

This will not be the case when Blair steps forward, his obdurate attitude, will be eaten up by the pretend judges. imo, Blair will be under instruction from his leader, Alister Campbell always ran the party, and tony knew his place

danny boy

saw trainspotting again the other night, for the umpteenth time, and can't help think, Danny Boyle has a lot to answer for. i have several close heroin addict friends, and the similarities are scary. i think Boyle over glamorised the drug, as have so many, golden brown springs to mind?

watching the film made me think of the friends i have lost to the drug, some are gone, but not forgotten, some remain. my guess is, its kept the heroin industry going for the last decade. i have witnessed the effects of the most powerful, and life dominating drug on the planet, and the people who's lives it controls. the doctors believe methadone to be their panacea, in reality its just like drinking a non alcoholic drink, when you are an alcoholic. this only pushes them back, and acts as a paroxysm. i have seen it, for most, once you join the club, you are a life member, how long that life is, depends on mental strenght

we all have a drug of choice, diazipan,marajana,paracetamol,poker?whats yours? they say don't knock it, until you have at least give it a go, but who are they?

Sunday, 17 January 2010


had a mate Saturday night, for an online poker session. had a few beers, and a few laughs. any how, let me set the scene, directly across from my house, theres a semi detached, with an average type family. the mother used to drink in my local(probably still does, i'm barred) nice blond, around 40ish, don't know the husband, you see, i'm not that nosey. i have noticed that there is a son, and a daughter, a dog, and a visiting granny and grandad.

so i'm stood at the window on my mobile, its 9.30pm, and dark, this window overlooks the house across the road, i saw the light come on in their front bedroom, so i could see clearly what was going on, and visa versa. this young sexy gilr started undressing in front of my eyes, omg omg, dunny! check this out(dunny is my poker buddy) this bird is doin a strip, but as soon as i had said that, i realised it may scare her off, so i told him to back off, sighting the grounds it may look pervy, i struggled to get him away. made me laugh as he crawled on his hands and knees, peeking over the window sill. DUNNY, FUCK OFF, you could get me nicked!!!! it was over in about 2 minutes, but what a show.

she clearly had put the show on, knowing i was stood at the window, because my light was on also. this was better than any strip joint i have ever been to. sadly, i doubt there'll be a repeat performance, the gilr is a teenage temptress, who clearly likes an audience, and theres no way i'll be sat waiting for the light to come on. thats why they call it strip TEASE


watching ski sunday, gutted it does not look like i'll be skiing this year. these boys are nailing the downhill at 142k per hour..... now thats quick, i managed 89k through a speed trap in austria last year and that was squeaky bum time, but 142k is mind blowing

had a bad day

if you have had a bad day, spare a thought, for the poor sods that are as we speak, trapped under the rubble, in the aftermath of the earthquake. alive for now, hoping they may be rescued. a few will live, the majority will die a most horrid death

Friday, 15 January 2010

retro post

was at the gym near town today,JJB.i go most had a real good work out and left at about 1pm,walked through town to pick my car up. stopped for a pie, then moved i finished my pie i chucked the remains at a bin,part of the paper missed.two police women spotted the incident and both looked at me as if to say well come on pick it up.they stood with arms folded and gave me a dirty look.i was going to pick it up but did not like their attitude so i carried on walking.they soon caught up with me."excuse me"...EXCUSE i turned and said go on then tell me off.the hobbie bobby got on her high horse and spouted public order, litter and some other bull.i just lol.i could see they were getting annoyed,anyhoo they told me to go back and pick up this small piece of paper.

so here's what happened next what do you two think you are gonna do if i dont.the actual police woman threatened to arrest me.i then said well look girls i'm 42 just been to the gym and i'm knackered but if you can catch me i'll let you arrest me. they looked at each other bemused,and sort of in a if to say well what do we do now.i strolled off at a brisk pace,then one made a lunge for me, so i was on my toes.i sprinted for about 10 yards and it was all over.

i might sound like a bit of a twat,the fact is i had every intention of picking the litter up,until these two pathetic excuses for a police force gave me of them was clearly over weight and the other was a fat bitch,and thats why the persuit lasted only seconds.i pay their wages to fight crime, and uphold the law, catch the odd criminal.these girls could not catch a cold,or fight their way out of a paper must have been that time of the month.lard ass police women are a joke, and i do mean that.

retro post

we have all played the tie your hand down and chop your little finger off game?well anyway this is my biggest gamble about 10 years ago my brother was based at the wheaton barracks and he invited me and the wife over for new years eve.

in those days i was a sh1t hot pool player and lined up a few drunken squaddies for the around 3am some guy remembered my boasted and dragged in a rain soaked pool table from the outside.the games went to plan --i won 2 lost 1 and increased the stakes.the shots were flowing and the atmosphere was good until they ran out of cash.winker,a slightly overweight corporal suggested a wager.£350 which they would club together the following day against sex with the of 3 on a wet table/no chalk.what the fuck lets do it i gotta say the wife went a little pallid,my brother came over and asked if i knew the consequences.GAME ON.when i lost the 1st frame, i gotta say it was squeaky bum time,however it was an happy ending.and just to show i was not all bad i let them keep £200 and collected £150+the £270 i had already won, it turned out to be an eventful new year. some of you wont believe this,the ones who know the wife may ask her about this,she will confirm it ?whats your biggest wager?


advertise on this blog, enquiries have been made, so get in whilst the gettin is good.
from £10-£50 per month


Blackpool card room, at the G of course, has a buzz about it, it seems. the general manager, seems to have taken on board, the thoughts of the players, and made a bold statement with the new card room schedule.the myopic view, that was taken in the past, is a fading memory. onwards and upwards.

In the not to distant past, this card room was the best bar none, it looks like, in the not to distant future, normal service will be resumed. Jason, i believe is the card room manager, and if that's the case, its a good choice, however, the GM gets the credit, great move.


some people over emphasise, or are over reliant on percentages. pot odds, raise three times the big blind, i'm getting 3/1.

there are only 52 cards in a deck. just because the books tell us, we don't have to listen to them.

Thursday, 14 January 2010

the older we get

the older you get, the wiser?
my future son in law was forever complaining that he had been let down for £2000 by one team, or that his treble on the horses would have paid £900 but for that photo finish. on closer examination of his betting slips, i noticed his 7/8/9/ folds on the footy and trebles and accumulators on the gg's were all to familiar. i told him he was a mug punter, or a bookies dream

i told him as a boy, yankees were my tipple, along with footy acc's and bandits, but these days i would like to think, i'm somewhere between seasoned and professional. i do not gamble often, but when i do, i want the edge. instead of going in blind and hoping to win the big one, slowly slowly catchy monkey.

i had a look at his betting patterns, he wagered a mean average of £25 per week, and last year he had a £5 acc up on the footy and made £211 profit that one win is all he remembers. to my mind he is still over 1k down on the year i explained it like this. stop trying to beat the bookie, and start backing singles and doubles. for one month he did, and from his £100 stake he made a £71 profit. this did not really excite the boy, however, i explained, thats a swing of £271, the £100 you normally would have lost, £100 returned stake, £71 profit x that by 12 and it over £3k in your pocket, and not in the bookmakers. i have told him that the lotto is a long shot, scratch cards, bandits(he loves um) and 10 team acc's are for mugs. that was last February, has he listened, has he fec, but nor did i
the older we get?


the time has come, the UK needs a generic set of poker rules. up and down the country, people get into rucks, because one casino plays one way, and next door its the opposite. poker is big business these days, its grown out of all proportion in the last 5 years.

i was talking to some of the old school, they explained, in the not to distant past, they had to travel 50 miles for a £10 rebuy on the Tuesday, then Wednesdays game was 30 miles away, and so on. we are lucky, the poker explosion accommodates our every wimb. they had to get six in a car, and set off at 6pm to reach their destination, they were lucky to find a game seven nights a week. but that was then, and this is now. each week, we can play any stake, within a 10/20 mile radius, casinos love the poker players. we even have a dedicated poker only venue, unheard of 10 years ago

i have had the pleasure of playing poker under the watchful eye, of in my opinion, the best card room manager in the uk(db) and recall, his greatest asset was common sense, and fairness i remember. any disputes were quickly put to bed, without causing a ripple in the water. Blackpool lost a legend when he left, and have not yet found a replacement

Wednesday, 13 January 2010

exteamist nightmare

with a general election looming, my thoughts turned to politics, thing is, it was whilst i was fast asleep, guess it could be called a dream/nightmare.i dreamt that an extremist party, was voted into power, and was imagining the consciences. i am off course talking about the far left.

if the far left ever came to power, here's a snippet of what i envisage. for starters, they would withdraw all our armed forces, from every country that we have a base, and we have bases in at least 40 countries, then once they are home, they would be found civilian jobs(lol) next, i guess cars will no longer be allowed on the road, to many emissions. of course you will be expected to donate 90% of your earnings to Greenpeace, friends of the earth or any of the 20m other charities they recommend. the motto of this land will now be, turn the other cheek. the boarders will be opened, and the population will raise 10 fold.

it could happen, these tree hugging, left wing, mamby pamby loonies, must never come to power, the thought sends shivers down my spine


las vegas here i come, one way or another, i will be in vegas kickin it up, this year

the wrong answer

had a walk down to my local spar this morning, needed some power food, its a fair lick from my house, but i needed the exercise.upon arrival, out of the corner of my eye, i spotted an old acquaintance, unsure of the reception i may receive, i sheepishly continued to scrutinise those pesky eggs, free range, or not free range, that is the question? hmmmm she edged closer. theres only a set amount of time one can spend looking at eggs. at last, she arrived, well hello, how are you? before she could get a word in, i chucked in a "you're still as gorgeous as ever" her shoulders droped,she relaxed into the conversation, hi neil, long time no see, the truth was, she was not looking her best, i had surmised she had just got up herself, and was wearing emergency make-up only.

her name was Dina, i had met her several years ago when my wife introduced her to me. she worked with the wife on an equal footing, but i had the idea, Dina had her eye's on bigger things, she was going places.(i wonder if she got there) so, how things with you? and what are you doing back around here? (slow down Neil, one question at once) she went on to explain, she had got that big job in Manchester, she was getting to where she wanted in life, the thing was, having bought a place just outside Manchester, it was taking her 45 minutes to get to work, and an hour to get home, every day, so she was searching for a new home, close to a railway station, so that she could commute, she then went on, houses are cheaper here, i know people, etc,etc etc...yada,yada yada, lets get to the point Dina.

the only thing i needed to know was, was she still with Phil? Phil the rugby player, Phil the, i own a Ferrari, Phil the, if you look at my bird like that again, there will be trouble(bring it on) the guy was an ass, we never saw eye to eye, ever since the xmas kiss incident.... rumour had it, i had given dina a xmas smacker, and he was fuming, in fact, he was six foot six of pure fuming aggression. following the rumoured incident, the phones went wild, the wife had to be run through word for kiss, just what went on, i needed to defuse the situation, for Dina's made my way right over to Phil,who i knew would be in our local boozer,and who i could see was not to happy, i made a public apology, in front of the whole crowd(out of character for me)before he could say a word ... situation De fused

the night of the kiss, i had bumped into Dina on her works xmas party, she was merry, but not drunk, my wife had gone home(allegedly) through a crowded pub, she made a b-line for me, and it was she who inisuated the kiss, it was she, who dragged me off away from the rest of her friends, and it was she who had suggested we get a hotel. so Phil was way off line, but i did the right thing, for her sake. she was so gorgeous, and a lot younger than me.

so, are you still with the sulk?(euphemism for the hulk-- why he did not like me calling him that?) no, no, no(thats 3 no's, i think she's trying to make a point?) that ended 8 years ago, he was an ass, tell me about it, i quipped, then said, well don't waist your breath on that plonker, i'd rather talk for the next ten minutes about your eye's(god i still got it) giggle,giggle.

this is my point, before i write a mills and boon.i knew she was younger, and if i had to bet on the exact age, 37 would be my educated and informed opinion.i'm saying this, because the subject was broached. Dina was a university graduate, she had a degree in physiology,business diploma and some law thing, that i can't quite put a name to. the girl was smart. yet i knew, when those words left her lips, well, how old do you think i am? the correct answer was no longer 37, women want to be flattered, they don't care if you get this wrong, and i only had a milli second to respond. wow, i think, around..... 31? 32? oh my god, don't tell me i have insulted you, you're thirty aren't you. Neil, thats close enough, she whipered.

vanity, cost's lives, its something i will never understand. even the most educated ice maiden, melts with a few choice words. this is a subject i will expand on in future


my car measures, 14ft x 7ft, its a beautiful beemer. when i open the cars doors, it then measures 14ft x 11ft, so why is then? car parking spaces only measure 8ft wide. how the hell are you supposed to get out, without banging the doors. sardines have never been top of my menu

Tuesday, 12 January 2010

iraq inquiry

it seems one key witness is missing, Saddam Hussein. he was hunted down and murdered, like an animal. i have little sympathy for him, as he was clearly a murderer himself. what separates the butcher of bagdad, to the butchers of Washington/downing st? bush and Blair, fabricated stories of WMD's, and are responsible for thousands of deaths, on both sides.would it be so wrong, to make these two take a lie detector test?

To these men, life seems cheap. would the Iraq's people say life is good, now Saddam is gone?it seems simple to me, they are still living in a dictatorship, they just can't put their finger on who it is these days. who owns the oil? who owns the land? what right did the British government have to interfere in this land, and who will we target next? clearly, war makes certain people very wealthy, and certain people very poor,in more ways than pure finances

please give your comments on this, and i will expand

Monday, 11 January 2010


stood at the bar one night, talking to a very wise man, well, to be honest, i never really had him down for being wise, in fact, he was an ex junkie, and part of the mill hill mob. they were a funny lot, that mill hill mob, the good, the bad and the thieving bullying bastards. but anyway, their days were numbered, and they seemed to be mellowing.

he had had a few, or maybe he was stoned, this is how it went..... imagine you are at the zoo, looking over the lion pit, taking photo's with your wife and child, what would you do if your child fell in? i'll tell you what you would do(before i could get a word in edge ways) you would be right in there fighting the lions, and saving your child, without any thought for your own well being, am i right? he poked, am i?... of course he was on the money, and i answered a resounding yes. he gave me the old i told you so, i knew you'd say that, all the time my wife to be, stood by my side, happy that i had got the right answer, and i should hope you would. ahhhh! ahhhh, he beckoned us closer,a bit like a Fagin character, now then, what would you do, if your wife fell in? of course, once again, (i had no idea it was a rhetorical question)as quick as a flash, he said, I'll tell you what you would do, cupping his hands, help, help, can somebody help my wife, please.
he then finished his pint in one, and without saying a word, left the club.

lesson learnt, me and my future wife looked at each other, what the hell does he know? i would save you, oh no you would not, i can tell by the look on your face(wish i had my poker face back then) he was right, well ?????????? stretching bear, that's a long pause lol. look, it will never happen, but if it did, i promise, i will save you.

drunk? stoned? wired? the guy had talent


its so annoying using a dongle, as opposed to a solid connection. you get disconnected so many times, however, i have found, running a poker site seems to keep the connection solid, give it a try

need spell check???????//

you scratch my back

been without water for the past 6 days, where have all the plumbers gone. anyhoo, had a new power shower fitted, along with toilet and sink. got them at a good price, due to the fact they had to fix the water first. a bit of you scratch my back never hurt anyone.
they are also very good mates of mine. so if you need a new posh bathroom,
try... they are the dogs bollox

free pint

a brave passer by, saw a woman being mugged, and gave chase. he paid with his life, as the cowardly muggers stabbed him to death. a police spokesman said, have a go hero's take their life in their own hands, and advise to walk on by, report the incident right away.

what kind of world do we live in? in my experience, the police are the one's who avoid conflict, jo public, thats me, will not now, or ever walk away, from a damsel in distress. the police are to busy collecting tax for HMG, they really should prioritise.

many a year ago, i witnessed an assault in my local snooker hall, i was 17 at the time, this low life thug, aged around 21, was knocking seven bells out of his girlfriend. to my amazement no one wanted to get involved. i could not stand by, as i pushed out my chest, slammed down my cue, and made a b-line to the aggrieved damsel, i was advised by an older pool player to leave it, and it was none of our business. screw that, she was taking a beating, and it was up to me, if none of the others would help. i got my body between the couple, the guy took a pop, so i gave him a bit of the rutter shuffle, two punches, and his nose was in bits. his mates then surrounded me, but at the same time, the owners of the club came over, i turned to the damsel and said, don't worry, he ain't gonna hurt you now. the look on her face was priceless(2p) as she swiped me in the face with her handbag, and screamed "what the fuck has it got to do with you" ?????????? leave my man alone you bully, and went for me again??????????

the couple were escorted from the premises, bonus, i got a free drink off Ronnie(club owner) but was left confused.

as i left the club at 11.30pm, 8 of the gang waited for me outside, led by the physco bitch, they gave me a good seeing over(lol) in my defence, i clipped a couple of them, but they were much bigger, and stood little may think, the moral of the story is to mind your own business, well sorry, must be a bit stupid, because it has never stopped me getting involved when i see wrong being done, and it never will


spoke to a parent this moring, the relief that the kids are back in school, was clearly written all over his face. its true, teachers do get a hell of a lot of holidays, they also still get paid for last week staying at home, where most parents have to miss a weeks wages, run around looking for some cover to look after those pesky kids. traumatic for most, add to the loss of a weeks education, missing exams, how do they cope in places like Iceland,Norway,Denmark, Sweden?

this could be sorted with a winter break, we give them 6 weeks off in the summer,and even as a child, i thought this was to long. a winter break that parents could plan for in advance, may be the solution? love to hear your views on this

world cup

i amazing that the biggest competition in world sport has gone to south Africa, last year, 20,000 were murdered there. in comparison, 200 deaths in the uk. constant warnings from the media, do not go out at night, keep out of certain area's.i am up for anything, but would never in a million years travel to the games

the pro's
you won't have to travel to far to go on safari

the con's
you will need a police escort, to and from the game
you must not have a post match drink
do not slow down in your car, never mind stop
do use body armer
life insurance premiums will go up
and many more

its all about the money, the madness of holding these games here is tosh.

Sunday, 10 January 2010

x+y= the dominant species

met this gorgeous young lady once, after a couple of sherbets, she revealed, by the time i'm 23, i want to meet mr right, by the age of 25 i want to be married, 26 my first baby, all the time this is happening, she wanted to complete her law degree.a fascinating in-site, into the mind of a woman. this was not an isolated incident, i have delved into womens minds on many an occasion, and can conclude, they are the master race. i have hit the big 4 zero, and the world is my oyster, may have listened more, but thats the way i am. i don't know where i'll be tomorrow, never mind 10 years down the line, i get the idea, they pick a place they realistically want their life to go, them nothing will stop them from getting to that place. its like a mathematical formula, x+y-2z =the place i need to be. do not get in their way, they are prepared to go to extra-ordinary lengths to achieve their goals.

of course men think they are in control, having lived with four women,(still remember the sycronised periods) i beg to differ. they do say, behind every great man(whoever they are)there is always a greater woman. i do believe men are better at certain jobs,soldiers,bouncers,long distance lorry drivers,brick layers... the list goes on. what gets up my nose, are the stupid little feminine bitches, who get it in their heads, they can compete, if i want to be a (for example) fireman, then i'll show them. how does a demur, 5'6 slip of a lass, expect to carry a 16 stone bloke down a ladder, it ain't happening. they become the token female, in this crazy world of equality. its time they took stock, women have come a long way in the 100 years, its time they learnt their place, you are the master race, you have reached the top, now leave the men to pretend we are in charge, and don't upset the equilibrium any more.

one sided

a reporter was killed by a roadside bomb, and fuck me is it getting some coverage. boo hoo, poor sod, what about the guys who are out there week in week out, why don't they get the same media attention, media nepotism.

surprise surprise

their are players who i respect, their are players whom i am apprehensive about, and others who i believe will never make a final table, because they just do not grasp the concepts of the game. on occasion, you will see one of these donks on a final table, usually the explanation is thus..... he had aces 8 times, he went all in on a gut shot and hit, fuck me he got lucky. they need a lot of help, where as, you see the usual suspects at the final, and you just know how they did it.

i saw the final of the world series, and how the guy who finished second ever got, i have no idea. reminds me of the classic luck donk. living the dream, but thats poker, otherwise we would not keep the numbers up

cash cow

the met office, aka the laughing stock. they say we are in for more snow, in my experience, they can't predict 12 hours in front. who pays their wages, the tax payer i guess. what a waist of money

Saturday, 9 January 2010

shares tip

had a tip on some shares, and as far as i know, it won't do any harm if you want to invest. my very good friend who gave me the tip, has been following these for some time, and he assures me, they are worth a punt. the more people that invest the better.

he gave me the tip in november, when they were 8.4p per share, they are currently 11p, and he expects them to reach much higher, due to winning big contracts. the friend is not a broker, but he is very well informed and trustworthy.

cosalt plc ..... fill your boots

never pre judge

have you ever walked down the street, and seen a couple holding hands, and thought to yourself, what the hell is she doing with him, or visa versa. anything is possible in this life. its a kind of coveting, but as far as i know, its a natural human reaction.the more we see them, the more we want them? film stars, soap stars or in general, anyone who is projected into our living rooms, become more and more attractive, and some of them are real mingers.

i remember working in a factory many a year ago, on my first day, i had a shmuse around, checking out the talent(like you do) to find, of the five women that worked there, none of them came up to my standards. two were real dogs, and the other three were mingers. over the next two years, i found myself attracted to even the tea lady, its a funny old game.

so your initial reaction, does not always count, never judge a book by the cover


five nights in vegas, cash in my first 6 tournaments at sahara/belagio/binions/wynn for around 5k dollars that is

poker wins

just for the record.
multiple cashes at various casinos throughout the uk
my online cashes 10k win on stan james 18k on littlewoods,
but nothing to brag about recently


reading opponents is a tough job at the best of times, it is however, an important part of the game. the feeling i get when i make the hero call with middle pair, the reraise from out of the blue, the fold and show, usually showing a monster. everything points to the fact, you're behind, yet you muster up the courage to do the right thing.

when i'm in the zone, which aint been for some time now, (but hey these things happen) i don't let on, but i watch every moce, every change in the pitch of voice, the way they drink their tea, how they put their chips in etc, making mental notes on each player at every juncture. its impossible to remember every nuance, but keeping these mental notes reaps benefits in the end. it would be great if you could sit at the table with a notepad, writing every move they make down in print, of course, its not practical.

in every game you are gonna asked a question for your tournament life, getting the right answer, is imperative. this can be made in a combination of ways, whats happen running up to this decision, how the player has played etc. but it will come down to whether you think your next bet will win that pot. poker faces, tells and pure instinct. as i said, dependant on the history, searching deep into your subconscious, recalling all those little tells, i find gives me the correct answer 80% of the time

Friday, 8 January 2010

no win no fee

seen the advert, some lard ass fat bird, walking on a polished floor with high heels on,not looking where she is going, and its not her fault. its not her fault she's fat, its not her fault she's following fashion, its the companies fault for giving her the job, and keeping the floors clean. she repays her employers by suing them.

its the where there's a blame, culture. we follow the yanks on most things, but this is not one of the best American imports. it drives people to make false claims, because of the money involved. the above is one example, the other is the imbecile up the ladders, who clearly had no idea what he was doing. do the advertising agencies make them look like idiots on purpose.

i agree, certain situations need claims to be made, but to adopt the American model is a slippery slope


heather mills, the former groupie, is once again making a spectial of herself. reported to have cleared paul mccartneys bank balance of 17m, it seems money is not enough, she wants the fame.


just seen the advert for duacel batteries, you know the one i mean, the one with the rabbits running all over, flashing AA's around. am i alone in thinking, its a subliminal mesage to housewives all over, your rampant rabbit is low on power, use duracel

Thursday, 7 January 2010

armed forces

memorial day in the USA, i think is an unashamed tribute to their armed forces.the impression i got, was they make a fuss of soldiers, past and present.WHY don't we have one. my brother, and several very good friends serve, without question, they carry out orders in a professional manner. they keep our country safe so we can walk the streets, speak our minds and protect our boarders. i for one think we should have a simular day. i failed to get into the royal marines, one of my greatest regrets. when i was in the Usa, i was told how it goes on memorial day, tha yanks shamelessly spoil their troops with parties, parades you name it. they deserve all of it. with an average salery of 25k pa, about 100k less than the cheating political leaders who send then to war. it is wrong.

i vote memorial day for the boys

-18 degrees

global warming my ass, woodford in chesire had temps of -18 last night

jiramy kile

saw six minutes, and that was enough, the man is a complete numpty. if this is what all of his shows are like, then the man should be shot. yes i know i have misspelt his name, i tend to do this with people i have no respect for


Seems Brown is under fire, i cannot see him being leader come the May election. not a fan of this man, nor am i a fan of his party. one thing i am sure of, with him as the leader, the tories will win the next election, that is a fact. Even if they get rid, and place Milliband in the hot seat, i still think labour are doooooomed. they all piss in the same pot, and are much of a muchness.

Guy folkes is my hero

poker rant

looking back, i am gutted, its not in my nature to have a moan, but i am gonna have one anyway. i played the gukpt at blackpool in november, and but for 4/5 key hands, things could have been soooooo much different. i will not bore you with to much detail, but in effect it was a 10k swing. i played cash, satellites and tournaments over the space of three days. i was in front in several situations, heres what happened.

in the cash the river card brought me loses of around 2k,in the sats, the river cost me a seat in the main event,in the side games, the turn and river ko'ed i walked away 2/3k down, but it could have been so much better. the turn of a card, jubilation or misery, i believe i am a great player, so do my mates, but its got to the point that even i am questioning myself, and that won't do.

bad beats are bullshit, there's only 52 cards in a deck, so that miracle river to me, really is not that much of a surprise.i rate myself as an 80/100, in fact i rate most of the players i come across in my own way, let me explain. the 80= what % i am playing at at the moment, the 100 is my predicted potential. every player has one of my personal ratings.looking back, if my set of 9's had held up, if my QQvJJ had won me a seat, if my full house had won in another game, then i would more than likely be sat here with several thousands, but thats poker. if variance exists, then i am in for one hell of a winning year.maybe i sound like i am feeling sorry for myself, but if thats the case, then i have good reason, when i bust out if a game, its not because i am short stacked and get unlucky, or they should never have made that call, or any other whinge bag excuse i here 90% of wet assed players going on about, i bust out from a good position, i also take it like a man.

i have played with the so called big names, and spanked their asses. it makes me lol when one of the old late night poker crew walk into a casino, and everyone naturally thinks they are walking on water, the truth is, they are just above average, and i for one give them just that amount of respect.

to play good poker, you need to, for starters be comfortable with your bankroll, you need to be in good health, you need sobriety. other things that aid your game, e.g. a new job, a win on the horses, pulling a young virgin usually does the trick. you can't walk into a game having borrowed the money to play,after splitting up from your bird, with influenza, its common sense. i have been getting deep recently, but seem to have lost my mojo. not that i would ever concidered stopping playing, i am just gonna have to grind it out.

i still get my kicks, for example: a dealer said to one of my mates"neil rutter? he's a top tourny player isn't he?" or a phone call,to say will you play this satellite online for me,or can i pay you in to xy or z. small victories that keep me interested. when i'm on fire, i don't use luck, some have to. i know some of you will be sat thinking whats he ever done, well, i have won a lot of money, and i have come very close to taking down some big games online/live. just hit a brick wall thats known in the poker world as runner very close friends(sdh,pd,nmc,ic,de) stand by me, my friends tell me i was unlucky and things will turn around, my so called mates can't wait to lol.

2010 may be the same as the disastrous 2009, or maybe it won't, its out of my hands, i cannot change my game. i do not ever look at the "ask the experts" site, nor do i read poker strategy, i think i'm above all that. yes i'm setting myself up for ridicule, but its what i do best. i know i have a game, so do most that have had me on the table.

one thing that did touch a nerve, i was walking from the £50 to the £100 cash table at the festival, had a few beers, and was intentionally giving the impression of an easy target, i saw the big game and made a smart assed comment, these guys had several thousands in front of them, as opposed to my 1k. i don't remember the comment, but apparently one circuit pro asked who i was, (mark godwin) and was told in so many words, no one special.....hmmmmm only takes one decent win, mark my words, if i get it, i will be insufferable, i will also target the players that have annoyed, cheated,attempted to bully, thats in my nature.

disclaimer, yes i could still be sat here typing away how good i once was in a years time, but it won't be through bad beats, because they do not exist

Wednesday, 6 January 2010


a couple of you guys have contacted me, saying you are unable to post commrnt on my posts, i'm working on it, but have not got the IT man in yet. so if any of you know how, email me

shares tip

don't like to blow my own trumpet, but the tip i gave on awop before xmas is doing what i predicted, they are up 25% so far

going short

it seems there is a shortage of bread,milk and carrots, thats right carrots. the snowman craze has decimated the carrot market

wooton 2

i lied when i wrote the wooton basset piece, i had no idea the cleric even claimed benifits, just took a wild stab. funny

Tuesday, 5 January 2010

name the decade

the tenties, is my guess


on the poker front, i will be going to bolton on the 17th for the £1000 sat, 10 seats gtd, but prob get 15

its all about control

global warming, climate change its all greek to me. the government tell us its real, they also stealth tax us, yet half the recognised scientist on the planet tell us its natural cycle of life. well if this is global warming, we are in trouble. they constantly lie and cheat the public, the government should play poker

wooton basset

it seems another muslim cleric is making a name for himself? anjam choudry has compared the british army to nazi's. he also threatens to parade empty coffins through the streets of wooton basset. in his eyes, the british army are war criminals.

i have several friends and relatives in the armed forces, i hope i can speak for them when i say, they are carrying out orders, they are doing the job they have trained for, they are putting their lives on the line, just so people like anjam can sleep safe at night, he can walk the street without being attacked. the soldiers are not to blame. war is horrid, unpleasant,abhorent yet necessary.agree or not, we have elected leaders to decide if we go to war or stay at home.blame the leaders of this country, and not the courageous, brave, honerable troops.

in the clerics defense, if he could have one, he believes it is wrong for the british army to be at war with his fellow countrymen in afghan and iraq. if this man had any honour, he would make his views heard in those counries. he clearly has no honour, as one news report suggested he claimed £41000 in benifits in the last two years. so in one hand he condems the british, in the other hand he leeches of the state.

i agree, the wars are illegal, why not direct his hate at prime ministers, past and present.lets hope the tax payer does not foot the bill for police protection, if they do decide to parade through the streets of wooton basset. maybe these hate mongers should be made to join the armed forces, and pledge their alliegiance to the union jack, or get the hell out????????


yes its snowing, but come on, its not the end of the world. it is amazing though how mostaverage people struggle to get to work, yet if you own your own business, or you have to sign on the dole, you can some how get in. driving conditions are D for difficult, but not impossibble.

i have skied in most places through out the world, france, austria, canada, etc, and the traffic runs like clockwork. the british isles get a few inches once in a blue moon, and we come to a stanstill

Monday, 4 January 2010


Attempted to make a poker entry, however, it fell apart after an hour of tidying it up. teething problems. must try harder

Sunday, 3 January 2010

poker blog

my poker history so far, is on its wat

politics explained

greenpeace, friends of the earth are far left, left wing
nazis, bnp are far right, right wing
labour, middle of the road.
the left and right wings of politics for me have good points and bad ones. labour sit on the fence. and i will write more on this subject soon


its gonna be a rollercoaster ride, so be ready