poker rant

looking back, i am gutted, its not in my nature to have a moan, but i am gonna have one anyway. i played the gukpt at blackpool in november, and but for 4/5 key hands, things could have been soooooo much different. i will not bore you with to much detail, but in effect it was a 10k swing. i played cash, satellites and tournaments over the space of three days. i was in front in several situations, heres what happened.

in the cash the river card brought me loses of around 2k,in the sats, the river cost me a seat in the main event,in the side games, the turn and river ko'ed me.so i walked away 2/3k down, but it could have been so much better. the turn of a card, jubilation or misery, i believe i am a great player, so do my mates, but its got to the point that even i am questioning myself, and that won't do.

bad beats are bullshit, there's only 52 cards in a deck, so that miracle river to me, really is not that much of a surprise.i rate myself as an 80/100, in fact i rate most of the players i come across in my own way, let me explain. the 80= what % i am playing at at the moment, the 100 is my predicted potential. every player has one of my personal ratings.looking back, if my set of 9's had held up, if my QQvJJ had won me a seat, if my full house had won in another game, then i would more than likely be sat here with several thousands, but thats poker. if variance exists, then i am in for one hell of a winning year.maybe i sound like i am feeling sorry for myself, but if thats the case, then i have good reason, when i bust out if a game, its not because i am short stacked and get unlucky, or they should never have made that call, or any other whinge bag excuse i here 90% of wet assed players going on about, i bust out from a good position, i also take it like a man.

i have played with the so called big names, and spanked their asses. it makes me lol when one of the old late night poker crew walk into a casino, and everyone naturally thinks they are walking on water, the truth is, they are just above average, and i for one give them just that amount of respect.

to play good poker, you need to, for starters be comfortable with your bankroll, you need to be in good health, you need sobriety. other things that aid your game, e.g. a new job, a win on the horses, pulling a young virgin usually does the trick. you can't walk into a game having borrowed the money to play,after splitting up from your bird, with influenza, its common sense. i have been getting deep recently, but seem to have lost my mojo. not that i would ever concidered stopping playing, i am just gonna have to grind it out.

i still get my kicks, for example: a dealer said to one of my mates"neil rutter? he's a top tourny player isn't he?" or a phone call,to say will you play this satellite online for me,or can i pay you in to xy or z. small victories that keep me interested. when i'm on fire, i don't use luck, some have to. i know some of you will be sat thinking whats he ever done, well, i have won a lot of money, and i have come very close to taking down some big games online/live. just hit a brick wall thats known in the poker world as runner runner.my very close friends(sdh,pd,nmc,ic,de) stand by me, my friends tell me i was unlucky and things will turn around, my so called mates can't wait to lol.

2010 may be the same as the disastrous 2009, or maybe it won't, its out of my hands, i cannot change my game. i do not ever look at the "ask the experts" site, nor do i read poker strategy, i think i'm above all that. yes i'm setting myself up for ridicule, but its what i do best. i know i have a game, so do most that have had me on the table.

one thing that did touch a nerve, i was walking from the £50 to the £100 cash table at the festival, had a few beers, and was intentionally giving the impression of an easy target, i saw the big game and made a smart assed comment, these guys had several thousands in front of them, as opposed to my 1k. i don't remember the comment, but apparently one circuit pro asked who i was, (mark godwin) and was told in so many words, no one special.....hmmmmm ...it only takes one decent win, mark my words, if i get it, i will be insufferable, i will also target the players that have annoyed, cheated,attempted to bully, thats in my nature.

disclaimer, yes i could still be sat here typing away how good i once was in a years time, but it won't be through bad beats, because they do not exist