this is me

this is me
this is me

Friday, 30 April 2010

the vote

after watching the three debates, highly undemocratic ones at that, i can conclude......brown is a weasel of a man,who only cares about being in power.the other two etonians, have not got a clue what its like to be a working man. as for the others, i warned on my blog, vote for an extremist party,ie: the far right, or the far left, and we are all the referendum party still around?screaming lord dutch? they are as far as i am concerned, lying, cheating, power crazed murdering,bastards and a million superlatives i can't spell. guy falks was my hero, he had the right idea with a big clear out. they make me sick

Saturday, 24 April 2010

quote of the day

.punctuality is a sign of respect.......

Tuesday, 20 April 2010


this is the perfect time of the year to follow 2 year olds. horse racing is a crock, but 2 year olds represent pure form to me. at the start of the season, all they do, is burst out of the stalls and run as fast as they can, and they do the same thing every time they race, well for the first few months of the year anyhow.

i watch for the ones that finish in the top 2/3 and they usually repete their form. keep an eye on them,i will tip a few


back working, running my own business again, and its hard graft, but highly rewarding.less time will be spent posting on here. the site has had 3.5k hits,and i have a million more stories.e.g. tenerife,fight club,the hooker,poker etc. not sure if any of you like the book? so if you want me to continue, either email me at or become a

Friday, 16 April 2010

the book

from age 16 to 20, i went boxing. never had any fights but trained and spared. i supported my brother mainly. he did have fights 16 and won 15. i had learnt karate before the boxing. so at the age of 24 when i was asked to work the doors, it seemed i had the right credentials. i found myself settled round the local boozers, i mainly worked with my brother, who had filled out nicely, his gym work had made him huge. we had some scary moments, but usually survived.

i went to a former dormans funeral recently, not because he was a mate, but because, i had more than carnal knowledge of his wife, i was glad he was dead. it was known by everyone, except big mark, i had got jiggy with his wife. what they did not know, was i was besotted.
the first time i met mark was in the toilets in tiffs, the pub i was working, i had followed him in, i was bustin for a pee, it was packed out and he stood down the left waiting i was on the right, a urinal came empty next to me so i saw my chance and i took it, he was a big cunt, and maybe i shudda waited but i was busting, as the loos emptied, there was just me and him. he pinned me up and threatened to bite my nose off, i could tell he was mad, i had a sixth sense about these things. i found my self apologizing. as we made our way out, i found my younger brother, explained what had happened, he told me we needed to keep out if his way, i let it go.saved up my payback for another day.
i found myself woking the doors with this bully three months later, it was a mutual dislike(i think, he thought, i knew my place)--- as is traditional after the shifts finished, all the door men meet their bits of stuff after work at the jazz club, the wifes, girlfriends and new to the fold all drank into the early hours. big mark had a problem, 5 pints and he was waisted, for a big lad he could not hold his beer, thats when i started getting close to michelle, they all suspected but no one dare say a word. i was picked up one night by mark to go on a out of town job, 200 yards down the rd he stopped the car got out, walked round to my side, the first words he said were , whilst holding the door for me, get out,oooooops, michelle said you came round to our house yesterday, ,whilst i was at work..... at this stage i thought i was dead, he knew i'd been bangin her, she was lying in a pool of blood on the kitchen floor.... she told me you were nasty with her? what?? listen mark, i was only droppin your wages off, no you listen, you ever talk down to my wife again i'll kill you. she had played a blinder, wow.

we arrived at the soul club, out in the sticks, having not said a word to each other, i kinda liked it that way. as soon as i got in, i made an excuse and told mark i had to phone my mum, so off i went to the payphone. i of course rang michelle to find out what was going on. she told me one of the nosey neighbours had seen me leave, so she made up some bullshit and that she knew i'd be ok, glad she had faith! mark is a stickler for not drinkin on duty, so when to break the ice, i asked if he fancies one. imagine my surprise when he agrees, bare in mine hes drivin. he had 3 and then stops, but not b4 he explained he though michelle was fuckin about, she had gone off sex etc etc etc. why is he tellin me. i did of course assure him, no one in there right mine would as much as look at your bird, fuck me mark, when we all go back to the jazz later, your wife will be sat alone, as per, believe me no one dare. lee your right maybe i should lighten up, defo mate defo.would i lie to you pal

by this time the club was packed, there must have been 300 + it was a bi annual event, but i was wondering why we were there and not some local crew. apparently, they were on strike, they wanted a pay rise and make no mistake they would be paying a visit
it was now 11 bells and the young bloke who was collecting the entrance money and cloak room cash was tilling up, fuck me mate, bit of a result for you, well not me the club get all the money, how much you made then, around £800. after i left school, i went on to do A' maths but it did not take a mathematician to work out this guy had been skimming, mark was stood across the other side of the room, i beckoned him over, how many you count in ? mark had a clicker, 326. come with me, as we got back to the foyer, the guy had packed up and was just on his way out, with the takings. oy, come here, what me, come hither with a curly finger. this is my associate mark, shake his hand, which they did, now tell mark how much the clubs made tonight. with a quiver in his voice, he maintained £800, i smiled at mark, he smiled back, mark never was the brightest. well ??? take him in the back. mark had that puzzled look on his face,the lights were on, but no one was home, ffs. at that moment the doors opened, and it was clear the local mafia were paying us a visit, the first thing they said was, are you gonna make us pay?

i never like to miss an opportunity, listen guys, we been drafted in, i had no idea it was a pay dispute till we got told tonight.any way, who's head man here,no one stepped forward, but three of them stepped back, i'd found my man. his name was jake, jake, we have just caught this guy skiming, and mark was gonna have a word with him, if you know what i mean, yes sure, mark still had that dumb fuck look on his face? i ushered the guy into a back room, with jake. i took the cash box off the guy, handed it to jakeand explained £700 of it was comin our way, he keeps his gob shut, everyones happy. i took £300 and gave jake the rest. we sent the guy on his way.happy days,result. i told jake they could take over from here, me and mark headed back to the jazz, mark was more than happy with his cut(£100) the underpaid bouncers were happy, and we were on our way for a well deserved beer. i told mark not to mention this to anyone, i felt i had got him were i wanted
as we walked into the jazz, i made a beline for michelle, i put my arm around her waist and shouted over to mark, can i give your misses one, i mean get her one,LOL the room fell silent, michelle pushed me away, then mark said, dont be such a frigid bitch, he is bein friendly, he roared, get the beers in. no one knew what had gone on that night but me and mark, the conversation we had earlier seem to have allayed his fears, any way a couple more pints he'd be asleep in a corner

the book

i got invited down to a mates snooker club one sunday night, david rajhes, i had been a couple of times before. i had built the poker tables for him. dj called me, dj? yes, he was a man of many names, he was a Pakistani, but likes to be called david, or dj, any how, he said as per usual, lee, i got some lads comin down, and theres a spare seat,(poker) count me in. it was one of the few places i could play poker and have a beer, i usually got a lift there and a taxi home. the game was a £50 freeze out, which meant 20 players, there was a £1000 up for grabs, not to be sniffed at. djs club is frequented predominantly by asians, with i guess only 10% whites, this often put some of my mates off playing there, i knew the owner, so it did not bother me.

upon arrival, i was greeted by dj with the usual handshake, hi lee you havin a drink, dj, i'll have what you're havin(dj liked a beer) is phil and his wife playing? no they aint comin. what about mick,lee and jeff? no i asked but they were busy. so who's here then? well i'm not sure if you know any of them, you'll be soon as he said i'll be ok, the alarm bell started ringin.
we got our drinks and walked through to the back room, i went in first, fuck me, 25 guys, all eyes and teeth. dj said we made the draw, you are in seat 5 table 1, dj gave me a general invitation to the room, which seemed to fall on deaf ears, he then started to tell me the names of individual players at my table. after two names i stopped him, dj pal its pointless you lot all look the fuckin same to me.that seemed to get the bastards attention. come on guys its only a joke, no sense of humour theses pakkis. dj was a good mate, i'd known him 20 odd year, and i'm sure he had my back.

i looked at this game as easy money, i envisaged me and dj splitting the spoils, he was ko ing people on table 2 i was ko ing them on t1. the plan was (without ever mentioning a plan) meet in the middle. after cracking the racist joke early doors, i felt relaxed, i had to tell some of the brothers on my table(on several occasions) english only can be spoken at the table. this bothered a couple of the boys, but i never thought anything of it. i knocked one lad out, as he was leaving the table he started spurting what i guess was pakki for you sob white bastard etc, i sarcastically said, look lad if your gonna abuse me, i've told you english only. seat 2 churped in, if we wanna speak our language, then why not? i instantly realised who he was,
it was a guy i had sprayed some internal doors for, he lived in a very nice house, in one of the poshest areas in town. when i picked the doors up i knew this guy was into the dark side, he drove a new bm, and had blokes running all over for him, well done that lad. 20 internal doors , yes pal £900 thats £45 a door, you know i am the best, i knew i was never gonna get £45 a door, but this is how these things worked with them, they love to haggle, oh come on man, you did my cousins for £30, yes but your cousin picked up and delivered, plus they were smaller. after 2/3 minutes the price was set at £35, not bad for a days work(£700 sheets) of course i told him three days min. i called him on the thursday, to tell him they were done, cheers lee your a star, just drop them off, my uncles there, tidy, is he gonna pay me? no man, i'll sort it tomoz, im in liverpool i'll be back tomoz, yeah no worries, i'll drop them off tomoz them. woh, no man, you said today, yes i know, but i'll need payin first. it was at this point relations broke down, this guy was not used to hearing the word no, he entered into a tirade, threatening to kill me, and the old, DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM... i am ... i finished his sentance b4 him, which got up his nose, at which point i told him to fuck off, he aint gettin his doors, then hung up.

he immediately rang back, i just clicked him to answer. i knew this would get on his tits, but thats my nature. the thing is for the past seven or so years, not once has a Pakistani, said i'll pay you later. its all c.o.d. i didnt give a flying fuck who he was, i am the man. anyway decided to call one of my asian mates, just to get a bit of info on him. did not like what came back, yes he was into big time heroin, and he was used to guys doin as he said. i had ignored several of his calls, so in light of the new information, decided to ring him, the first thing i said was, have you calmed down yet? yes, now get my doors delivered, NOW, your fuckin money is there, if i get chance im comin over, cause im gonna check every one to make sure you did a good job. he was grasping at straws. i said, ok its like this, i'll drop the doors off at 4, you pay me, everyone's happy, end of. he agreed are we gonna have any trouble. no not as long as you give me my doors back.

it was lunch time, i had 4 hours to decide what to do. i needed the money, but knew it was not over. i thought, should i go alone, tooled up? do i call the feds, explain i could be a dead man at 4bells. decided to go it alone. ye, i can do a bit, but drivin up thta lane, i cheeks tensed a bit. upon arrival, there were two cars on the drive and three older men out side. i parked the van and went over to them, were is he, he will be here soon, please lee, he has a lot in his plate, he gets angry sometimes, we all know you do a good job. two younger blokes came out of the house(mid 20s)on there mobies whilst the older guys were singin his praises, a range rover screeched up and blocked the van in, he got out, mumbled to the uncles, ignored me and went in the house, come on lee, lets unload the doors,FUCK THIS, you lot can do as he says, but not me, as i approached the front door he came out. well? are you gonna get them in or what? well are you gonna get the fuck off your high horse? i was immediately surrounded , well semi surrounded by seven asian males, look, ive come on my own thats how i work, if you want some fun, its just me and you, after a theatrical pause he smiles, as if to say you goy some balls,look, i have your money here, just get them in, and i'll pay you. me and his uncles got them in,he inspected everyone(thank fuck he missed the runs) he then produced the cash, and started counting it out, i stopped him mid count, listen .. i know how much there is there so do you, we dont need to count. on that he handed it over, no hand shake though. thats the thing about the indians and the pakis, they pay cold hard cash, no qualms
he through his keys at one of his lakkis, and i was allowed to leave, never done work for an asian since

as i said, he was sat in seat 2, and now i recognised him, he was staring right at me. seat seven chirped in, why english only? come on why? because for one, you're in fuckin england, and those are the rules of poker. dj turned and told everyone to calm down. i called over, david, i thought this was gonna be a friendly game, wtf?, dj stood up and gave the room a ticking off, he told none players to leave, he explained the rules where english only, and if you dont like that, you know where the door is

i had known dj for over 20 myears, well respected part of the community,when he was not drinkin, gambling, chasin womens, he found time to go to the mosque, my type of guy. he had his finger in a few pies in the area, you allways felt safe in his company, trustworthy. this was his club, his rules, and i was honoured to be there, for the first time i did not feel safe
players came and went, we were down to 5, the gangstar, had been bullying the table, he pushed players off pots, because they were afraid of the repercusions. an interesting hand, the gangsta, raised my big blind for the 29th time, and i looked down at 4/2 off suit, ok, this time i have a real hand(lol)come on lets do it, of course 4/2 is one of the worst hands in poker, but you never know.its me and him h/u and the flop comes A J 5rainbow, i check, he bets big, i decide to look for a 3. it comes a deuce, i think fec it,if he pushes im all in, i wanna get out of here any way .... sure enough, hes all in, i insta call, thinkin im behind he turns over Q 7, the last card comes an A and i leave him with very few chips. he had steam comin out of his ears by now, and i knew it would not be long b4 it all kicked off, i humiliated him in front of all his boys, the very next hand, he pushed all his chips in, i found AJ called and finished him off, that was it ww3 he threw the poker table and jumped on me(i was still sat down) didnot mind him to much, it was his mates comin over kickin me in the head that pissed me off, dj managed to pull him off, the barman came in to help. look guys leave now or i get the police. i had a tooth missing and the rest of my face was a mess, but i was still alive. gangsta was being restrained by his lakkis, but agreed to leave, 6/7 of them pushed past me to get out, gangsta went for me one more time, i saw a flash, i wonder what had happened, all i could see was lots of blood. then i wake up. i had passed out due to the lost of blood, i thought i had been stabbed but he had only slashed mt chest, the flash i saw was the silver blade, 37 stiches later, and i was back home. i had a score to settle, but it could wait, i wanted to do to him what he did to me, never got the chance 6 months later, his house burnt down, with his wife and kid losing there life along with him, it had been the third time in 2 years he had had to move house, because of the businness he was in, only a handful of people knew its location, the police suspected arsen, he had a list of men, all in line to do this, the police soon ran into dead ends, the case continues

Thursday, 15 April 2010

my car

techno violet is the official colour,0-60 in 8.1,top speed of 151mph,£32k was the price. i loved that car more than the some brain dead drongo has just wrote the fuckin thing off. my daughter was unharmed(she had borrowed it) things will never be the same again.i'm sure anyone who saw the car would agree, it was the most beautiful BMW on the road. gutted does not describe my emotions,devastated,heartbroken,angry,on uber tilt

Wednesday, 14 April 2010


every man is equal, until they prove otherwise

Tuesday, 13 April 2010

a woman scorned

had an interesting conversation today, looking into how womens minds work, i ain't claiming to be an expert btw. it started with a friend say how his ex with had the police on him, for nothing, how devious she was........

i told him how i listened to the wife and her friends on many an occasion, after a drink, usually when i had returned from poker, early in the AM. one would say, yes! he was itching all day, and he had no idea why lol. the other would say, he spent 2 hours looking for his shoe lol, then the other would chirp in, yeah i dropped his chop on the floor, but he never found out lol. they were talking about their respective partners, and how they have their bits of fun, putting itching powder in his shirt because he had come home late? hidden golf shoes? and accidentally on purpose dropping their food on the kitchen floor.

to see them in full flow, it was like a witches coven, men have no chance. freud said, there are no accidents, i think he was on to something. i suppose its how they get by, small victories.hell hath no fury.

its all about control, and women have it?

taist of things to come

several months back, i was driving up to the hospital with my daughter and granddaughter. its a long left hand road, with three right turns, and one left turn.i got behind a black audi A3, which imo was driving a little erratically. i said to my daughter, this ass hole is drunk. the car swerved left, then right, and slammed on hard, causing me to break. i thought get on the horn, but decided i was gonna get out the car and confront the idiot. as i pulled along side, with the intention of blocking him off, i looked into the car to see what i am guessing was a young muslim bird, in full head dress(could have been a guy for all i know)realising this could be an international incident, i drove off and decided to report it to the police.

i was straight on the blower, i ranted down the line to the officer on the desk, who told me to calm down, and then arranged an interview. upon arrival at the station, i was ushered through the front desk by a WPC, and asked to take a seat. by this time i had calmed down, but still thought that action should be taken. only a minute into the interview and i could see i was flogging a dead horse. the overweight, unattractive WPc, had already made up her mind, i was a racist. can you give a description?do you have the reg? was there any other witnesses? she made me feel dirty. i told her what i thought of her attitude, then said there would be no complaint and i wish to end the interview. i will see myself out, i knew the way.

its so easy to be labeled,you just cannot speak your mind these days. this is a taist of things to come


drove through darwen today, behind an artic lorry, who clearly had no idea where he was, or where he was going. i tried to get past, he tried to crush me and my little girl. i of course gave him the full wrath of my tongue as i jumped out of the car. as i approached the cab, it was clear he was an eastern block numpty. no fight today, but close...........

these drivers come over here with no road tax,insurance,licienes and without passing a test, their wagons are not road worthy. statistics show, they murder up to 3000 women children(some men to) each year, then blame it on the blind spot, because their cabs are left hand drive. the fact they are butchering innocents seems to have gone unnoticed by our government.

impound their cabs if not road worthy,imprison them for murder, make them road tests, stop the killing

before the Pc brigade get on my case, i know they are only trying to make a living, but at what cost?

Friday, 9 April 2010


rick posted on Fb, a 37 year old woman has been refused life saving drugs for her cancer, he compared it to the 2m it cost the nhs to send a woman back to india last year to have her baby in her own country. the nhs is should begin at home


any french polishing work undertaken, i need some work you guys. chairs,tables, doors, furniture, windows you name it..........

Thursday, 8 April 2010


just watched big bucks win @ 1/ why did the thieving bookies return it @30/100.i thought they had brought a law in to stop punters being the not to distant future, i plan on taking the bookies to the cleaners, without feeling guilty.

i was reminded of the way they operate recently. several years ago i used a very good tipster(hate to call him that) called isirus, upon entry into any of the betting shops i used, the girls would run for the phones and warn their bosses i had arrived, and was wanting x amount on such an horse. they would say to me, sorry neil, you can have a maximum of £150 and only at sp. spineless,low life, and running for cover. i used to love taking their money, but they did use every trick in the book, legal or not.

from 2001 to 2004 me and a friend cleaned them out, we made around £50k each, life was good. then isirus was sent to prison and the party ended.the largest bet i had, was £750 on an 8/13 shot, pipe and ran 2nd :cry:

the plan is, study study study. by the time the new football season arrives, i will be ready

Wednesday, 7 April 2010


do i fancy dtd this weekend

Monday, 5 April 2010


control your own desiny

cosalt plc

these shares have dropped dramatically in the last 2 months,its time to buy. i have been following them for six months

Sunday, 4 April 2010

i knew,she knew, i knew,she knew i knew

never underestimate the power of flattery.i saw a girl i had not seen in years at blackpool on friday night,on one of my excursions from the tables(i like a stroll around) i spotted her leaving the bar. the brief encounter began.

how you doin, (nicked a line off joey)i get the first smile, she likes corny.i'm fine neil, how bout you? all the better for bumping into you. my god! you are getting younger,stop it, no, you this point, the killer punch had to be delivered. how old? come on really, have you hit the big three zero yet?the giggle, the uncontrollable giggle(i'm in)not far off neil, thats all i'll say. she was with her husband/boyfriend, not sure, so i slipped her my number, and thats that.

the thing is, hear in lies the dilemma. she invited me and the wife to her 30th at darwen golf club, 4/5 years ago. i did not attend. but she knew, i knew her age, yet she was happy for us to exchange bullshit. maybe she thought i had forgot, and treat it as a grey area. just find it amusing how powerful a compliment is.on this occasion, she did look mint,i will be seeing her soon.

Saturday, 3 April 2010


had a conference several months back, with my girls. i told them, the media hype surrounding sunbeds and cancer risk cannot be ignored. have they listened? no.


strongly fancy
man city
and inverness has been tipped


i do not think tonights fight is as one sided as the pundits are making out. Ruiz has been up against some top top men, and not disgraced. the hayemaker seems over confident to me. he has promised a KO, which i think is a bold statement.he is english, so my hope is he will take it down, but this is not a betting match for me