this is me

this is me
this is me

Friday, 16 April 2010

the book

from age 16 to 20, i went boxing. never had any fights but trained and spared. i supported my brother mainly. he did have fights 16 and won 15. i had learnt karate before the boxing. so at the age of 24 when i was asked to work the doors, it seemed i had the right credentials. i found myself settled round the local boozers, i mainly worked with my brother, who had filled out nicely, his gym work had made him huge. we had some scary moments, but usually survived.

i went to a former dormans funeral recently, not because he was a mate, but because, i had more than carnal knowledge of his wife, i was glad he was dead. it was known by everyone, except big mark, i had got jiggy with his wife. what they did not know, was i was besotted.
the first time i met mark was in the toilets in tiffs, the pub i was working, i had followed him in, i was bustin for a pee, it was packed out and he stood down the left waiting i was on the right, a urinal came empty next to me so i saw my chance and i took it, he was a big cunt, and maybe i shudda waited but i was busting, as the loos emptied, there was just me and him. he pinned me up and threatened to bite my nose off, i could tell he was mad, i had a sixth sense about these things. i found my self apologizing. as we made our way out, i found my younger brother, explained what had happened, he told me we needed to keep out if his way, i let it go.saved up my payback for another day.
i found myself woking the doors with this bully three months later, it was a mutual dislike(i think, he thought, i knew my place)--- as is traditional after the shifts finished, all the door men meet their bits of stuff after work at the jazz club, the wifes, girlfriends and new to the fold all drank into the early hours. big mark had a problem, 5 pints and he was waisted, for a big lad he could not hold his beer, thats when i started getting close to michelle, they all suspected but no one dare say a word. i was picked up one night by mark to go on a out of town job, 200 yards down the rd he stopped the car got out, walked round to my side, the first words he said were , whilst holding the door for me, get out,oooooops, michelle said you came round to our house yesterday, ,whilst i was at work..... at this stage i thought i was dead, he knew i'd been bangin her, she was lying in a pool of blood on the kitchen floor.... she told me you were nasty with her? what?? listen mark, i was only droppin your wages off, no you listen, you ever talk down to my wife again i'll kill you. she had played a blinder, wow.

we arrived at the soul club, out in the sticks, having not said a word to each other, i kinda liked it that way. as soon as i got in, i made an excuse and told mark i had to phone my mum, so off i went to the payphone. i of course rang michelle to find out what was going on. she told me one of the nosey neighbours had seen me leave, so she made up some bullshit and that she knew i'd be ok, glad she had faith! mark is a stickler for not drinkin on duty, so when to break the ice, i asked if he fancies one. imagine my surprise when he agrees, bare in mine hes drivin. he had 3 and then stops, but not b4 he explained he though michelle was fuckin about, she had gone off sex etc etc etc. why is he tellin me. i did of course assure him, no one in there right mine would as much as look at your bird, fuck me mark, when we all go back to the jazz later, your wife will be sat alone, as per, believe me no one dare. lee your right maybe i should lighten up, defo mate defo.would i lie to you pal

by this time the club was packed, there must have been 300 + it was a bi annual event, but i was wondering why we were there and not some local crew. apparently, they were on strike, they wanted a pay rise and make no mistake they would be paying a visit
it was now 11 bells and the young bloke who was collecting the entrance money and cloak room cash was tilling up, fuck me mate, bit of a result for you, well not me the club get all the money, how much you made then, around £800. after i left school, i went on to do A' maths but it did not take a mathematician to work out this guy had been skimming, mark was stood across the other side of the room, i beckoned him over, how many you count in ? mark had a clicker, 326. come with me, as we got back to the foyer, the guy had packed up and was just on his way out, with the takings. oy, come here, what me, come hither with a curly finger. this is my associate mark, shake his hand, which they did, now tell mark how much the clubs made tonight. with a quiver in his voice, he maintained £800, i smiled at mark, he smiled back, mark never was the brightest. well ??? take him in the back. mark had that puzzled look on his face,the lights were on, but no one was home, ffs. at that moment the doors opened, and it was clear the local mafia were paying us a visit, the first thing they said was, are you gonna make us pay?

i never like to miss an opportunity, listen guys, we been drafted in, i had no idea it was a pay dispute till we got told tonight.any way, who's head man here,no one stepped forward, but three of them stepped back, i'd found my man. his name was jake, jake, we have just caught this guy skiming, and mark was gonna have a word with him, if you know what i mean, yes sure, mark still had that dumb fuck look on his face? i ushered the guy into a back room, with jake. i took the cash box off the guy, handed it to jakeand explained £700 of it was comin our way, he keeps his gob shut, everyones happy. i took £300 and gave jake the rest. we sent the guy on his way.happy days,result. i told jake they could take over from here, me and mark headed back to the jazz, mark was more than happy with his cut(£100) the underpaid bouncers were happy, and we were on our way for a well deserved beer. i told mark not to mention this to anyone, i felt i had got him were i wanted
as we walked into the jazz, i made a beline for michelle, i put my arm around her waist and shouted over to mark, can i give your misses one, i mean get her one,LOL the room fell silent, michelle pushed me away, then mark said, dont be such a frigid bitch, he is bein friendly, he roared, get the beers in. no one knew what had gone on that night but me and mark, the conversation we had earlier seem to have allayed his fears, any way a couple more pints he'd be asleep in a corner

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